THE CHICKEN REPORT 6/8/09

MY BOY CHICKEN LITTLE

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THE CHICKEN REPORT 6/06/09

CAKE FARTS

YEAH, AS YOUR ATTORNEY I ADVISE YOU TO CLICK THE LINK. ( NSFW)

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TWO ELEPHANTS, ONE TRUNK

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FAVORITE CHILDHOOD BOOK

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HENSON’S 11

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INTERNET SUPERSTAR OF THE WEEK

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WTF

THE CHICKEN REPORT 5/29/09

Ha, what line? Yes, Bakon is bacon flavored vodka. Yes, it’s real. Yes, it’s only available in Washington, Idaho, Montana and Oregon right now. Yes, I want to try it. Yes, I want to pour it on a stripper. No, I don’t want to lick it off.

Hit the jump for recipes and a link to the official site.

Official Website

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GOOGLE THIS, AND READ THE FIRST LINE THAT COMES UP IN SEARCH. TYPE IT AS IT IS, MINUS THE ” ”

” A CLIENT SERVER DATABASE “

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RAUNCHY DAWN COMMERCIAL

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SHOCKING VIDEO- INDIAN MAN ELECTROCUTED TO DEATH ON TOP OF TRAIN

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BUD LIGHT PORN GUY

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CHUBBY GIRL LAUNCH

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ASS SCRUBBER

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THE COOLEST LAPTOP ON THE PLANET

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BRAZILIAN ASS SHAKE

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GRANNY GHOST RIDES

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GOT MILK ??

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BANNED CARTOON

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IF YOU HATE CREDIT CARDS, YOU MUST WATCH THIS… TOO TOOO FUNNY

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WHY THE CHICKEN CROSSED THE ROAD <— YOU KNEW IT HAPPEN EVENTUALLY

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AIRBAG TO THE NUTZ

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THE CHICKEN REPORT 5/28/09

BREATHING THRU YOUR BACK

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YOU SHOULD HEAR HIM SQUEEZE THE BACON !!

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TORI SPELLINGS NASTY TITS

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GET RICH TODAY, CHEATING…

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ROLLING STONE THINGS LADY GA GA IS HOT ?! WTF!

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A Toilet That Twitters By Itself

We all know the main purpose of Twitter is to notify the world every time you drop a deuce but it can be a pain in the ass to type out the tweet every time you’re doing work. Well one ingenious and I’m guessing slightly bored bastard rigged up his toilet so that it would write the tweets for him. Every time the toilet is flushed it posts an update to Twitter. Hit the link for a full run down of the parts he used and how he put the whole thing together.

Read more: “A Toilet That Twitters By Itself | Tasty Booze” – http://tastybooze.com/2009/05/a-toilet-that-twitters-by-itself/#ixzz0Gls82X8i&A

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KISS HER EXPENSIVE PHOTOSHOPPED ASS

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THIS IS HOW SHE LIKES IT

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DA COWGIRL

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LOOKING GOOD SWEETHEART

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JOSE ” THE RAT BITCH ” CANSECO GET’S OWNED FINALLY

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IT’S TIME TO TELL MADONNA SHE’S JUST NOT HOT ANYMORE

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THE CHICKEN REPORT 5/27/09

FIRST CELEBRITY SWINE FLU DEATH

PHOTO OF THE DAY

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TIMES ARE TOUGH, A GREAT ATTEMPT TO SETTLE WITH  A COLLECTION AGENCY

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THINGS THAT SOUND LIKE CHEWBACCA ON THE INTERNET

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HIP SHAKING WEB CAM BABE

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LORD HAVE MERCY, I DO BELIEVE I SINNED 3 TIMES BEFORE I FINISHED VIEWING

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I HIT YOUR CAR NOTE LEFT ON CAR

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OOPS SHE DID IT AGAIN,  AT LEAST THIS TIME SHE’S WEARING PANTIES

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GUESS THE CELEBRITY FAT ASS

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EPIC FAIL

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CNN — The 4-year-old daughter of boxing legend Mike Tyson died Tuesday, a day after she was injured in a treadmill accident at her home, police in Phoenix, Arizona, said.

Former world boxing champion Mike Tyson traveled from Las Vegas to Phoenix to be at his daughter’s bedside.

Exodus Tyson was pronounced dead at 11:45 a.m. local time Tuesday, said Sgt. Andy Hill, a Phoenix police spokesman.

“The Tyson family would like to extend our deepest and most heartfelt thanks for all your prayers and support, and we ask that we be allowed our privacy at this difficult time,” the family said in a statement.

The girl’s 7-year-old brother found her on a treadmill in the Phoenix home Monday. She had been strangled by a cord connected to the machine, said Sgt. Andy Hill of the Phoenix Police Department.

“We believe the child was on the treadmill but it was not running at the time. She might have been playing like it was,” Hill said.

Her brother called his mother to the room. She removed Exodus from the machine and called 911.

The girl’s mother performed CPR on her, but she was unconscious and in need of life support by the time authorities arrived, Hill said.

Former world heavyweight champion Tyson on Monday traveled from Las Vegas, Nevada, to Phoenix where his daughter was on life support in critical condition, police said.

“After a thorough investigation, it appears that this is nothing except a horrible tragedy,” Hill told CNN’s Larry King. Watch an exclusive report from “Larry King Live” »

About 1,000 children under 14 die of unintentional strangulation each year, 88 percent of whom are under 4 years old, said Larry Stone, founder of Safety Matters, a company that specializes in childproofing homes.

Stone said injuries involving treadmills were fairly common, but said he had never heard of strangulation involving a treadmill.

“All injuries are preventable. There are ways to babyproof your home,” Stone said. “I think that largely it is a matter of taking care of the more straightforward things … making sure there are no cords from the windows hanging and certainly keeping the child in view.” Watch neighbors react to news »

The 42-year-old Brooklyn-born Tyson became the youngest world heavyweight champion in history when he lifted the World Boxing Council title aged 20.

Tyson also won the WBA and IBF versions of the crown during a career that was littered with controversy including disqualification for biting Evander Holyfield’s ear during a 1997 title rematch.

He retired from the sport in 2005, but was back in the news this month with the U.S. release of the film “Tyson,” a documentary that premiered at the Cannes Film Festival last year.

THE CHICKEN REPORT 5/26/09

FUNNY VIDEO # 1

ASK A NINJA

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FUNNY VIDEO # 2

SUCKLE ON MY TEET

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DEATH STAR CANTEEN

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NEVER WEAR YELLOW WHEN YOUR A REBEL AND SHOOTING AT PEOPLE

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BANNED VIDEO FROM YOUTUBE

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A VERY GANGSTA BRADY

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STUPID GIRL

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CAUGHT CHOKING THE CHICKEN

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YOU GO GIRL # 1

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YOU GO GIRL # 2

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YOU GO GIRL # 3

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YOU GO GIRL # 4

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6 WAYS TO KILL PIPER

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Chicken Poop

DON’T FORGET TO GET YOUR SWINE FLU SHOT !

PEEP IT

WHAT THE CLUCK IS GOING ON HERE

PEEP IT

STUPID KID OF THE DAY

PEEP IT

WELL, HELLO THERE ( NSFW )

PEEP IT

SCOOTER FAIL

PEEP IT

WHO DOESN’T LOVE JELLO !!

PEEP IT

CHAT ROOM DJ’S

SWEET TEA FAIL

UM YEAH… FIRE YOURSELF

THE GREAT WHITE HUSTLE

About a year ago, the makers of Red Bull, the famous caffeine-loaded energy drink, decided to come out with a soda, unsurprisingly named Red Bull Cola. The shared name implied the same big kick. But could the cola’s boost — supposedly “100% natural” — come from something else? Officials in Germany worry that they’ve found the answer — cocaine. And now they have prohibited the soda’s sale in six states across the country and may recommend a nation-wide ban.

“The [Health Institute in the state of North Rhine Westphalia] examined Red Bull Cola in an elaborate chemical process and found traces of cocaine,” Bernhard Kuehnle, head of the food safety department at Germany’s federal ministry for consumer protection, told the German press on Sunday. According to this analysis, the 0.13 micrograms of cocaine per can of the drink does not pose a serious health threat — you’d have to drink 12,000 liters of Red Bull Cola for negative affects to be felt — but it was enough to cause concern. Kuehnle’s agency is due to give its final verdict on Wednesday when experts publish their report. (See pictures of America’s cannabis culture.)

Red Bull has always been upfront about the recipe for its new cola. Its website boasts colorful pictures of coca, cardamom and Kola nuts, along with other key “natural” ingredients. The company insists, however, that coca leaves are used as a flavoring agent only after removing the illegal cocaine alkaloid. “De-cocainized extract of coca leaf is used worldwide in foods as a natural flavoring,” said a Red Bull spokesman in response to the German government’s announcement. Though the cocaine alkaloid is one of 10 alkaloids in coca leaves and represents only 0.8% of the chemical make-up of the plant, it’s removal is mandated by international anti-narcotics agencies when used outside the Andean region. (Check out a story on how Bolivia is preaching the virtues of coca culture.)

Meanwhile, in Bolivia, halfway around the world and smack in the middle of the Andes, the controversy is causing chuckles. Coca is a fundamental part of Andean culture and for years, Bolivians have tried to get the world to understand that the leaf is not a drug if it’s not put through the extensive chemical process that yields cocaine. Left-wing President Evo Morales, a coca-grower himself, has made coca validation a personal quest, chewing leaves in front of world leaders and press cameras during his travels. “Let’s say [Red Bull Cola] doesn’t take out the cocaine alkaloid. Have any of those millions of people across the world who have drunk that soda ever gotten sick or felt drugged?,” asks Dionicio Nunez, a coca-growers’ leader from the Yungas region. “We’ve always known that coca isn’t harmful. Now maybe others will realize it too.”

In Germany, the Red Bull spokesman insisted that his company’s product, along with others containing the coca leaf extract are considered safe in Europe and the U.S. And already, some experts have come to Red Bull’s defense. “There is no scientific basis for this ban on Red Bull Cola because the levels of cocaine found are so small,” Fritz Soergel, the head of the Institute for Biomedical and Pharmaceutical Research in the city of Nuremberg, tells TIME. “And it’s not even cocaine itself. According to the tests we carried out, it’s a non-active degradation product with no effect on the body. If you start examining lots of other drinks and food so carefully, you’d find a lot of surprising things,” he says. (Read about the anti-Red Bull: a drink that can calm you down.)

Coca leaves, of course, have a long record in modern soda pop history. Most prominently, there was Coca-Cola whose original 19th century formula used unaltered coca leaves. In the early 1900s the company said it would only use “spent,” or de-cocainized leaves though the company refuses to confirm whether leaves in any form are still used.

But the problem is when it comes to coca and cocaine, it’s not just a health concern, but a legal one. Since 1961, trade of coca outside the Andean region — where people have chewed or brewed coca in tea to stave off hunger and exhaustion for centuries — has been prohibited unless, the cocaine alkaloid is removed. Few companies in the world have authorization to trade in the leaf and most are pharmaceutical companies that perform this de-cocainizing process. The most prominent is New Jersey-based Stepan Chemical Company which has been reported to supply Coca-Cola with its narcotic-free derivative.

But no one knows where Red Bull Cola’s coca leaves come from or where they are processed. Red Bull did not respond to immediate requests for comment and Rauch Trading AG, the Austria-based food company that actually manufactures Red Bull Cola was quick to tell TIME that they are not allowed to speak about the product.Meanwhile, Bolivia, which has lots of coca leaves to sell, is getting a kick out of the fact Red Bull Cola admits to using coca in any form (since Coca-Cola evades the question). Ironically, the drink is not actually available yet in Bolivia. But, the locals say, this is a great opportunity to show that coca isn’t harmful — with or without the cocaine alkaloid. With Reporting by Tristana Moore/Berlin

VIA: TIME

BACON LUBE

SENT TO US FROM ONE OF OUR READERS, LINKED FROM DON CHAVEZ. WHO DESERVES FULL CREDIT FOR THIS WONDERFUL ARTICLE.  PLEASE CHECK HIM OUT

This is one of those moments where I get to see how extreme the readership of DonChavez.com actually is. My friends at over at Baconsalt.com send me periodic emails letting me know what’s new in the world of bacon flavored products. Well yesterday, they happened to send over some information on the Granddaddy of all things bacon flavored besides bacon itself.

Bacon lube.

I know, I’ll wait for you to catch your breath. This fine establishment has developed a bacon flavored personal lubricant that will leave your hog tasting like fried hog. Imagine the pleasure you’ll experience as you are bumping uglies and the room fills with the aroma of fresh cooked bacon. Seriously though, what woman wouldn’t want to make this product part of their sex life?

Below I’ve included some photos of the Bacon Lube intern taste testing Bacon Lube right from the bottle, as well as a video of the incident. But before you go there, Bacon Lube is looking for testers. As in people to use Bacon Lube and give them feedback. If you’d like to participate you can send Justin an email at keepitsizzlin@baconsalt.com . If you have a site and participate, I’ll even let you do a guest post about the experience here on my site, and you can link back to your site from it.

THE BEST OF THE TOURETTES GUY

THE BEST STUFF ON EARTH RIGHT HERE

HOOTER’S CAR ANTENNA TOPPER. HOW LOVELY

So I’m perving through the internet and I stumble across this.  I was like ” Oh GAWD, A Hooter’s action figure… Well I was wrong. It’s an antenna topper. NOW GUESS WHERE THE HOLE IS !